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nm, be firm and assertive. She has to contribute too. She might be an heir to the land, but she hasn't contributed ANYTHING yet, and the "promise" of land doesn't mean a damn thing. She needs to start contributing now. As my mom always said, "Them that works, eats."
And didn't you mention that there were siblings of your wife that your MIL expected you to take care of as well when TSHTF? If they aren't going to contribute and Mom wants to include them too, guess what, she needs to contribute for THEIR needs.
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She effectively holds the deed - she's Queen. I got the same deal with my mom, although the family likes her. She paid off the mortgage and we pay her interest only on the Bank of Mom note. Deed is in our name so it's a different deal than you have. Mom gets the Queen's suite (the garage/cottage) WTSHTF, but I don't think she'll take us up on the offer in a fast and total collapse situation. Too hooked on the life she has always known and would pretty much decide to call it quits.
Have the conversation center around hard points of "when the balloon goes up". For me it's when three major US cities go up in flames, Martial Law enacted, Ras Tanura on fire or the Strait of Hormuz blocked to tanker traffic. General hardship and scarcity doesn't count - those who waltz along BAU have to pay the dues to earn a place at the table.
What I don't get is Uncle giving her the place when she isn't up there taking care of him. You guys are. Blood is just weird most of the time.
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Is it a positive note that she recognizes the need to prepare at all? She's not going blindly along pretending everything will be ok. Maybe you can reform her. ;)
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It's the wait now. She said we need the 'serious talk' and now me and Mart are running through the potential conversation over and over. It's like waiting for doom. We just need to talk to her face to face, no alcohol involved.
Should be in the next few days, I'll let you know how it goes...
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A boozehound. Oh, this gets better and better, bwahahaha!